Crack Idea
by Demonddancer
Summary: tohru has a boyfriend that isn’t a sohma…not really able to say no to a pleading face…it makes a most interesting first date with may chaperones with video cameras but what is this? Her date is knocked out and Kyo and her are in the ally? What will they..
1. can i ask you a question

Disclaimer:

Me: this is just a random crack idea of mine that has nothing to do with the actual wonderful story.

Lea-chan: aren't they always?

Me: Don't be so mean!

Lea-chan: YOU TRASHED MY SNOOPY COLLECTION SO THAT I WOULD WRITE MORE AND YOU HAVENT WRITTEN IN EVER AND YOU'RE CALLING ME MEAN?

Me: that sounds about right.

The crack idea: tohru has a boyfriend that isn't a sohma…not really able to say no to a pleading face…it makes a most interesting first date with may chaperones with video cameras but what is this? Her date is knocked out and Kyo and her are in the ally? What will they reveal?

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

"Um hello Miss. Honda-san?" A very bold and daring boy said as he stood in front of Tohru and her four friends from her class.

"Yes?" Tohru squeaked as her friends sized the boy up.

"Can I um-talk to you in private?" He asked pretty much trembling in fear due to the knuckle cracking Arisa was doing.

"Uh-sure!" She said happily as he led her out of the class room down the hall and into a deserted stair well. Instantly he pushed her up against the wall, his hands on her shoulders looking deep into her eyes.

"I'm going to ask you a question in all seriousness and I wont accept a NO!" Tohru could only simply nod as he went on. "I love you and I want to go out with you!" You could hear jaw drops of tohru's four followers.

"I-I-I uh….who are you?" Tohru giggled out of nerves.

"I'm Branu Jones!" (A/N: don't ask it was the first name that came to mind.) he said cheerfully.

"I'll you out with you on one condition……" Tohru pulled on his tie so they were a mere inches apart and spoke so softly that her friends were toppling over one another to hear.


	2. the reaction

Disclaimer:

Me: come on it was funny to end it like that….wasnt it?

Lea-chan: holding a bloody led pipe

Me: I guess not…..::runs::

Ann(the tyedie bear): this is a crack idea so don't take it too seriously and the more reviews you give the faster this will get typed…she is working on 6 stories at once when she should really be preparing for November novelist month!

Me:AHHHHHHHHH! I'LL THYPE! I'LL TYPE!

Lea-chan: YOU SAID THAT LAST TIME NOW GET BACK HERE!

THE REACTION

"Honda and Jones are going out!" It was the first topic announced at the Prince Yuki weekly meeting. Not one person didn't shed tears of joy.

"It's great now we can have Yuki to ourselves!" A fight was brewing amongst the club.

"I'm so tailing their first date." Arisa said to Saki

"I don't approve a perfect stranger and how strongly they reacted to each other! No-no, I wont mind as much it my future step son would just admit it, but a stranger and one that doesn't fear us none the less. We have to nip this in the butt!"

"And since when have you been her mother in law?" Arisa said jokingly.

"Since she didn't know who to pick." Saki said with out changing her expression.

"Looks like you missed out." Yuki poked fun at Kyo on the way home.

"Don't toy with me you stupid rat!" Kyo said steaming. "You missed out too!"

"But I don't love her the way you do." Yuki said poking the wounded Kyo.

"I don't lo-" Kyo screamed turning so red that he invented a new shade. Yuki laughed as Kyo stopped dead flustered.


	3. getting ready

Disclaimer:

Me: a gnome is a gnome will always be a gnome!

Lea-chan: No it's a KITTY!

Me: how many times do I have to tell you that!

Ann: umm guys why don't you go on about this story?

Me: GNOME!

Lea-chan: KITTY!

Sky: I don't know maybe I'm as crazy as the rest of you guys seeing how you write about things that you don't own….

GETTING READY

"Tohru-kun you look so cute!" Shigure exclaimed.

"Why thank you." Tohru smiled as she took a seat, obviously wearing Rin's clothing. She had on a black hater and because Rin is much taller than she was, it showed off her flat stomach. She also had on a short skirt with zips on the sides that showed part of her thighs it was apparent that she had on ass shorts with stars on them.

"Miss Tohru what on earth are you wearing?"

"I have a date tonight. Branu is taking me to a club." She smiled as Kyo store at his plate fuming.

"That sounds like fun!" Shigure smiled.

"Well I have to go; Arisa and Saki want to doll me up before hand." Tohru said gathering the plates.

"I'll do them, you have fun." Yuki said as she gathered the plates leaving them on the table.

"Okay!" Tohru smiled as she headed for the door.

"Well make sure to take loads of pictures!" Shigure called after her and then found himself eating the lemony fresh floor.

"Well if you don't like it then go follow them." Yuki said as he picked up all the plates and headed to the kitchen to wash them off.

"Fine I Will!" Kyo said slamming the door behind him leaving Shigure and Yuki laughing.


	4. the banging of jelousy

Disclaimer:

Me: Gnome.

Lea-chan: Kitty.

Me: GNOME!

Lea-chan: KITTY!

Me: GNOME!

Lea-chan: GNOME!

Me: KITTY!

Lea-chan: HA! I MADE YOU SAY KITTY!

Me: Bum!

Ann: It's obvious that this is going no where fast so we'll sum this up…

Sky: this isn't this crazy ladies story she doesn't own Fruits Baskets or Bugs Bunny….its best not to ask.

THE BANGING OF JELOUSY

"Now Branu make it look good. " Tohru whispered in his ear as she pressed his hips against hers and moved slowly back and fourth to the hypnotic beat.

"You know you're nuts to try and think that this will work." He said ash he slid his hands on the side of her hips.

"Believe me my guy is totally the jealous type and with Arisa and saki's vid, he's gonna go over the edge." Tohru threw her head back and laughed as she slid her hands in the back pockets of his jeans.

"Am I going to die?" He asked nervously.

"No, I have power over him that no one understands." Tohru gave an evil smile as she kissed his neck.

"Hey look there's Kyon," Arisa said pointing to the boy watching Tohru throw herself at some random guy that she just learned his name. He was debating if it was worth it to storm the crowd.

"That's my boy!" Saki said laughing as if there was no air left in the world.

"Cut that out! This is going to be more fun than we intended." Arisa said as she pointed out the Yuki fan club came in glimmered up for a party in sparkly slinky skirts and short tube tops, and other revealing tops. Some even had on leather pants and hooker boots.


	5. over the shoulder and out the door

Disclaimer:

Me: AGREE THAT ITS GNOMES OR THE WOLF GETS IT::holding plastic spoon to Sky's throat::

Lea-chan: No any thing but that::tears flowing so that she cant see that the weapon is a spoon.

Me: SAY IT!

Lea-chan: Fine it was a ::mumble, mumble::

Me: What was that?

Lea-chan: FINE IT'S A GNOME! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU CRUEL, CRUEL PERSON!

Me: yes

Sky: this evil bitch owns nothing! And gets graphic so hide the innocent eyes

Me: Lea-chan why are you coving your eyes? I stole your innocents a long time ago.

Lea-chan: A GIRL CAN DREAM!

OVER THE SHOULDER AND OUT THE DOOR

After a few ::cough completely wasted cough:: drinks Tohru and Branu were pretty much having sex with clothing on the dance floor. Kyo chugged down another bud and was getting a pep talk to go after tohru from the beer bottle. She came over to the bar and Kyo saw this as his chance.

"Hey babe it's all good so laugh and smile." Tohru said to the orange haired blurry figure. She tried to grab hold of something so that she didn't go flying off into space.

"Do I know you?" He asked tying to see how drunk she really was.

"No but I'm an open book, so just read my pages and I'll read yours too. My place or yours?" she said in a drunken slur. Kyo looked her up and down and when Branu came over and tugged at her skirt so that it showed her star print ass shorts Kyo had enough.

"Hey-Hey I said that was later." Tohru said punching him in the face so that he slid across the floor smashing his head into the wall. "Welp I guess that just leaves you and me." She said sliding her hands up his shoulders and down onto his chest. He grabbed her hands and threw her over his shoulder storming out of the bar and into the alley.

"Dam I didn't think Kyon wanted her that badly." Arisa laughed.

"I have such a roughty son to tame. I think a hit on the nose with a role of newspaper might due the trick." Saki shook her head.

"babe look me in the eyes and repeat he isn't your son….yet."


	6. the side stree alley

Disclaimer:

Me: Let's just skip this argument and move onto the story.

Lea-chan: How about not.

Me: I don't own anything and that's all I'm gonna say.

Lea-chan: SAY IT WAS A KITTY::holding gun to the back of the head.::

Me: NEVER!

Lea-chan::pulls trigger::  
Sky: what did you do Lea-chan now who is going to write this story?

ME: ME!

Lea-chan: WTF? I JUST KILLED YOU!

Me: are we forgetting that I'M AMAZING! And even though I won none of this is actually mine, if you believe that then you are as nieve as Lea-chan to think that a bullet can kill me!

Lea-chan::eye twitches::

THE SIDE STREET ALLEY

Kyo had carried a drunken Tohru over his shoulder and placed her on the ground in the alley, pulling out his phone.

"What do you take me for?" Tohru asked in yet another drunken slur as Arisa and Saki watched from the roof top, cameras still rolling.

"Just sit there and I'll get us a ride home."

"Hey-hey I didn't say I was cheep. You want me then I got to get something in return. Although your body might be payment enough, I'm sick of ugly bodies on me." Tohru said as she used the wall to pull herself to her feet. Kyo's expression was priceless…good thing it was being filmed. Cause after that comment Saki and Arisa were rolling with laughter.

"Omgah! Did she just say that!?!" Arisa cackled.

"My-my that is the dirtiest thing I've heard from Tohru-kun since the caramel incident.

"Look at Kyon's face! He's purple!" Arisa gasped for air from laughing so hard.

"Tohru?" He asked as he dropped his phone. She flung her hands on his shoulders close enough to feel her breath on her lips. He placed a hand on her stomach so that he didn't transform.

"Ya know there are ways to do it with out actually embracing." She said with a drunken smile. She bit down on his lip as she pressed her mouth against his. He tried to push her away but his own want was too much. He pushed her away and held her at arms length. She looked hurt but he couldn't look her in the eyes.

"I know you want me so lets have some fun." Tohru said grabbing the bottom of her shirt giving him a devilish smile. She kissed him pushing her tongue past his lips. He gave in and kissed back. When they were stopped for air he couldn't stop himself.

"I love you Tohru, but Akito will never allow this. You know what he did to Rin when he found out about her and Haru. I have to go into confinement after school is over. I don't want any more blood on my hands/" He looked away and backed off, but Tohru didn't. She was pressing all his buttons tonight.

"Akito is just a whiny bitch, sure she can scratch but give me a fair fight and I'd win hands down. She aint got nothing on me! Plus danger is what I'm all about." She smiled placing her hands on his chest. He stepped back away from her as the played cat and mouse. Knocking over a trash can it spilt its putrid connentends.

"NO! I cant, you don't get it! Mom killed herself because of me!" He said stopping her.

"NO, she decided to take her own life while you were four. There was nothing that you could do." Tohru said trying not to laugh at his worries. The area had stopped spinning and things have started to get clearer, but she was still beyond wasted.

"BUT I COULD HAVE SAVED KYOKO!" He said desperately making Tohru freeze in her tracks.


	7. say wha?

Disclaimer:

Lea-chan: HOW DARE YOU LEAVE YET ANOTHER CLIFFY!

Me: but it was fun to see you turn all those funny shades of color!

Lea-chan: I'LL SHOW YOU FUN::comes after with a chain saw::

Sky: you know that this author…if she can be called an author, donst own anything but Ann the teddy bear, I'm owned by Lea-chan.

Ann: we apologize about our creator's fights they really are best friends believe me

::Jeh-kun is seen in the background being chased, she sticks out her touge but runs into a random post and falls down. Lea-chan holds chain saw over her head.::

Sky: Really you'll have to believe us on this one.

SAY WHA?

It's true what they say when a single faze that slaps you like a splash of cold water or a fist in the face you can sober up pretty quickly.

"White boy sa wah?" Tohru said with a dumbed down expression of disbelief.

"Exactly what I said. I could have saved Kyoko. I knew her and you since you were five. She always wanted us to play but I didn't, I feared of getting touched due to the curse. Me and Kyoko we'd talk and she'd give advice. She was a smart and self reliant woman, she was amazing." Kyo said.

"LET ME GO! I'M GONNA KILLE HIM! I HAVE TO CLOBER THAT SNOT NOSED BRAT!!" Arisa said as Saki sat on her to keep her from attacking Kyo.

"This explains a lot of why he had feelings of regret. Let's just see where this goes to. Arisa do you want to know what is going on or just hurt him? He could just have the same guilt that Tohru does for just knowing her."

"Fine." Airsa pouted as she watched Tohu back away from smashing a trash can with his foot and falling into some form of slime found in the alley.

You can't be the one she said- no way, no way!" Fear had filled Tohru's eyes. Kyo just looked at her with pity.

"There's no way you can be-no-no-no-no-no NO!" Tohru said trying to scurry away in fear. But she wasn't sure what she was afraid of, all she knew was the she stood before the box of her suppressed memories but nothing good would come of that.

"I'm sorry the car came I could have saved her if I had exposed the family secret and shoved her out of the way. But she saved me by pushing me out of the way." Kyo couldn't look her in the eye.

"NO! I closed the lid, the lid says shut! Closed the Lid! Change the topic!" Tohru said insanely. Kyo came close to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, she shoved him off and started passing back and fourth, not sure what to do.

"So you were right." Arisa said annoyed.

"But I would like to know more about this lid and her odd behavior." Saki munched on a bag of popcorn that came from no where.

Just a side note I want to give a shout out to anon for the review…or at least I think that the name…please message me and I will give recondition.


	8. youre the one

Disclaimer:

Me:: walks out onto stage and talks into a microphone:: Okay just to tell you this is the last chapter and I own none of this.

Lea-chan: What? No way that's so mean! You don't want to do that to your audience.

Me: hey can I get the house lights. ::lights fill the room and you can see Sky, Ann and Lea-chan the rest of the seats are empty.::  
Me: MY point. ::walks off stage::

To Keep In Mind: Arisa and Saki don't know about the curse so they don't get what is really going on as well as not knowing about the forest and Kagura's love for Kyo…enjoy

YOU'RE THE ONE!

"I can't be the one what?" Kyo asked as Tohru had tears streaming in her eyes.

"What did she say to you right after she got hit?" Tohru asked biting down on her finger nails.

"Oh my, oh my tohru-kun's waves aren't that of fear but…"

"Hey, quit it on the wave report and pass some of those milkduds over here." Arisa said watching the couple wide eyed.

"I'm just saying she has opened her lid of suppressed memories and…"

"Shhhh!"

"OMAH! It's you! You're the boy!" Tohru said pointing as something clicked in her brain about a small orange haired boy in fear of the world. "You're the boy she needed to forgive!" She was half happy but still scared. "Why didn't you tell me?" Tohru covered her face with her hands, so confused it was making her head hurt that only her cold finger tips felt good against her hot head.

"Wait what are you getting at? First your scared then your depressed now you're happy? What the hell?" Kyo screamed highly confused.

Her last words were; I need to tell him, that boy, I'll never forgive him if he lets anything happen to my little girl. She needs me, to raise our child we raised. I'm coming to you, we can finally be together." Tohru looked him in the eye holding back the empty feeling in her stomach, she said she got over it, but she hid so much pain behind her smile.

"Wait what did she mean by we? And how do you remember that word for word after two years?" Kyo was still very confused and getting rather flustered.

"The we, was my mom talking about her and my dad. Well sometimes we remember things that just sink in our minds with bad images. The last time I really let myself cry was when her hand released mine and she was unable to move it again her voice horse and the nurse telling me that they had to call a time of death. Those are things that you don't normally forget."

"I'm soooo sorry." Kyo said holding out a hand to her.

"Don't be, it only meant that my mom loved me enough to threaten someone to their death because of me. She threatened for someone to protect me…..I'm glad that it was you." Tohru said her eyes shinning in the moon light.

"Look I understand if you hate me and being the cat I've killed not only my mother but yours. I'll understand if you don't try and see me when I'm confined at the end of June." Kyo started to leave towards the lights of the town.

"Kyo wait! Kyo! Kyo I said its okay did you not listen? KYO!" Tohru called after him desperately.

"He Thinks He Can Leave Like THAT?" Arisa said grabbing the ledge of the building ready to jump. Saki pulling on her arm.

"WATCH DAM IT!" Saki said in an uncharacteristic screa,. Not heard by the two figures below.

"Kyo please don't leave! I meant it when I followed after you in the forest I want us to be together!" Tohru was crying as he just stopped struck by dezavo.

"I cant let this continue. We can only be friends till I'm confined by Akito because we cant go against his word." Kyo repeated like a well trained child after rehearsing the same phrase over and over. It broke his heart to say it.

"Kyo don't go. Don't leave me! Don't be like the rest and leave me behind!" Tohru cried on the verge of insanity.

"I'm sorry." He said and walked away

"KYO I LOVE YOU!" He stopped dead in his tracks and froze, she was telling him the one thing that had killed him to bottle up inside.

"I CANT HELP IT KYO, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS! I KNOW I CANT BE WITH YOU BUT STILL I LOVE YOU!!!" Tohru fell to her knees crying she was covered in dirt and grime from the alley way, but that didn't matter to her. "I love you" She sobbed.


End file.
